


Post Its in Autumn

by bisexualgambit



Category: X-Factor (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Mourning, an unnecessary fix it fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 04:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14926781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualgambit/pseuds/bisexualgambit
Summary: Shatterstar always leaves Rictor little notes. They never say much, and it’s always misspelled and scrawled by hands that weren’t taught to write until Rictor realized that nobody had ever taught Shatterstar to read or write (and Rictor had been the only person paying attention enough to realize as much)





	Post Its in Autumn

Shatterstar always leaves Rictor little notes.

They never say much, and it’s always misspelled and scrawled by hands that weren’t taught to write until Rictor realized that nobody had ever taught Shatterstar to read or write (and Rictor had been the only person paying attention enough to realize as much). There was no reason for him to leave these notes. Often times, Rictor was in the room when he wrote them. But still, Shatterstar left his little notes for Rictor:

_“There is a new episode of Criminal Minds tonight! Pizza and chicken wings for dinner? -Shatterstar”_

_“Do not forget to take you medication Julio! -Shatterstar”_

_“We are out of pizza rolls (and I may have broken the microwave) -Shatterstar”_

_“Your hair looks very nice today! I love you so much! -Shatterstar”_

Sometimes they included drawings of trees, cats, buildings, all of which were extremely realistic, especially compared to his child-like handwriting. Rictor kept every single one of them. Tucked safely in a box under his bed, because Rictor knows just how much those little notes mean to Star. Each mark of ink or lead an act of defiance against a hateful regime and proof that he is so much more than what he was made to be. Those notes reminded him of long nights of Shatterstar slowly sounding out words in children's books, getting blisters from holding pencils wrong, and the start of a love affair with subtitles. It had taught Rictor patiences with Shatterstar, it had taught Shatterstar what it was like to have someone care about you; it taught them love for each other.

Years later, it still taught them love. A love that survived despite Mexico and M-Day, through depression and miscommunication, through Mojoworld and coming home to earth, their love had survived. A different love than the one from their days on X-Force. A love Rictor never thought he'd share with a man, and that Shatterstar never thought he'd share at all.

It was still early morning, and sunlight was just beginning to stream through the windows of the couple's 400 square foot apartment. It was tiny, but it was cheap and the pair had turned it into a home. Julio kept his plants in pots throughout the kitchen and on the fire escape, and Shatterstar kept his swords on the mantle (it took a lot of time and convincing to get him to stop sleeping with them under his pillow, but eventually he'd felt safe enough to hold on to Rictor during the night, instead of his blades) and a stack of post-its kept next to the fridge. There was a note there when Rictor woke up to start his day and get breakfast:

_"Watched Star Trek until 2am (again) I still believe that the Falcon could defeat the Enterprise. To discuss more later on. -Shatterstar"_

And Rictor had chuckled. He knew Shatterstar was too stubborn in his beliefs to surrender to Rictor's (superior) opinion. Rictor had gone to work, discussing to get second opinions from his teammates, agree with Rictor that he could use later in his discussion with Shatterstar. 

But that discussion never came.   

* * *

 

It’s been about five months since Rictor died.

Shatterstar had spend most of it couch surfing. The apartment they once shared far too quiet, the plants Rictor had loved like they were children had wilted without Rictor’s care, and Shatterstar couldn’t bare to look at anymore dead things. 

But Shatterstar does not go unloved or uncared for. Domino keeps him busy with work (both Domino and Shatterstar know that she doesn’t need his help, but she tells him that she does anyways), Boom Boom makes sure he buys new clothes when he has wore down his wardrobe, and Rahne becomes his rock. She asks Shatterstar to move in with her fully after finding out that Shatterstar has been all but homeless. They live together, eat together, watch tv together, and they grieve together.

Today is would have been Rictor’s birthday. Rahne and Shatterstar both know, and they don’t discuss it at all. The day is spent in silence, until Rahne suggest they go and pay their respects.

Rahne helps Shatterstar with his new coat that Tabby bought him, he complains that it’s too itchy as Rahne helps him button it (not that he needs help but Rahne needs to keep her hands busy and Shatterstar understands) and Rahne says that she’ll get Tabby to buy him a new one tomorrow. He grumbled to himself how his old coat had been perfectly fine (Shatterstar’s definition of “perfectly fine” being covered in slashes from fighting ninjas), as he slipped something into his coat pockets. The pair leave their apartment, and begin their slow and silent walk to the cemetery.

Ric’s grave is only twenty minutes walk from the apartment. An empty casket with no body in it. They never uncovered him from the crash. It leaves a pit in Rahne’s stomach to think about the cruel irony: Rictor, a man who could move the earth, and feel everything within it, cursed to never be returned to it.

Neither Shatterstar or Rahne talk, not on the walk or for the hour that they are there. They just sit and look at the ground. Shatterstar traces the engraving, almost as if he were in a trace. 

Eventually the pair seem to sense a mutual discomfort that had descended on the two. “Come on, Star,” Rahne sighed, standing up and wiping the mud off of her hands, “Let’s head home.” Shatterstar nodded, but did not stand. Instead he pulled a package of post it notes and a sharpie out of his coat pocket. He sits cross legged as he writes on the post-it. It’s slow and he is holding the sharpie wrong, but Rahne watches his careful and precise chicken scratch. Once he is satisfied, he places the post-it note right next to the engraving of Rictor’s birthday. 

_Happy Birthday, Corazón. I wish you were here. -Shatterstar_

Shatterstar looks at the post-it for a second before frowning slightly and taking it back, scrawling on it some more, before posting it in the same spot once again 

_Happy Birthday, Corazón. ~~I~~  We wish you were here. -Shatterstar and Rahne Sinclair_

“Okay,” Shatterstar says, in a matter-of-factly tone as he gets to his feet, “I am ready to go now.” Rahne nodded, holding back the tears in her eyes. All this time she thought it was Shatterstar who needed her, but seeing that lone post-it note on the grave of her ex-lover, her best friend, the “father” to her child, and so much more, she realizes that she needed him just as much. 

“Hey, ‘Star?” Rahne says as they leave the cemetery, breaking the silence that the pair has grown accustom to.

“Yes, Rahne?”

“Do you think him and Tier are together?” She asks, is was sure about the mojoworld warrior’s spiritual beliefs, for all she knew, he believed there was nothing after death, and that thought frightened her. But instead Shatterstar smiled, 

“Yes, I imagine they are. Julio wouldn’t want your son to be unprotected in the beyond. They protect each other, just as we do here in the living.” he said, they take each other’s had in a platonic symbol of solidarity as they making their way home. Rahne turning back only once to look at the yellow post-it still holding on the granite headstone, despite the autumn breeze.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic because I finally got a AO3 Account! Hope y'all enjoy! It's pretty much the same as the one I posted on tumblr, but with a few added paragraphs!


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